*Hi there. I’m back after a two year hiatus. I hope you’re well. I breathe deeply and stretch myself into Downward Dog as I gaze at flowers depicting the phases of the moon. My teenage daughter looks at my yoga mat with envy every time she passes my bedroom. My legs are bent, and my … Continue reading Persistent
Home For The Holidays
There are no parties this year. No flights to visit family. There is no caroling. There are no cookie exchanges. We huddle close only to each other, and the house has been decorated for no one but ourselves. Our tree is tilted. Off kilter. Like us. We play Scrabble and Backgammon and Poor Man’s Bridge … Continue reading Home For The Holidays
Refresh
I pull up CNN on my phone and click refresh. Biden Getting Close. Refresh. Biden Nearing 270. Refresh. Biden Closes In On 270. Refresh. For days the headline barely changes. Nearing is not enough. Closing in is not enough. The gap needs to be obliterated…annihilated…eviscerated. My stomach ties itself in knots. Constrictor knots, double fisherman’s … Continue reading Refresh
I Am (Not)
I am not the one who wakes in the morning with a stomach full of lead.I am not the one with pandemic fatigue.I am not the one holding my breath until November 3rd.I am not the one drowning in a bag of potato chips.I am not the one spying on my children as they starevacant-eyedat … Continue reading I Am (Not)
Happy Denial
Image by Bianca van Dijk from Pixabay Earlier this fall I spent several weeks living in a state of blissful denial. What pandemic? What systemic racism? What economic crisis? What democracy in shambles? What wildfires? What hurricanes? Friends would ask how I was doing, and I would reply, “Surprisingly well, thanks!” I took care of … Continue reading Happy Denial
Ashes, Ashes
Day 1: I’m sitting on the deck with a book in my lap. Delicate flecks of ash flutter from the sky and settle on my legs. The book is Stephen King’s On Writing, and though it’s not one of his horror thrillers, it still feels fitting to be reading something by this author in this … Continue reading Ashes, Ashes
Beautiful Moments
Twin Peaks We cross the bridge and wind our way up to the top of the city. Though we’ve all tested negative my mother has warned me that we will still have to keep our distance. But when she opens the gate to greet us she can’t help herself and gathers each of us in … Continue reading Beautiful Moments
Big Baby
Seven months into the pandemic one of our cats went missing. He’d disappeared a few times before but never for this long. It felt like particularly cruel timing, given all that we’ve already lost because of COVID. The aborted trips and performances, the time with loved ones, the missed family celebrations, the sad virtual 8th … Continue reading Big Baby
Chronic Illness In COVID Times
Image by congerdesign from Pixabay Before I get out of bed each morning I take an inventory of the state of my health. I lie under the covers with my eyes closed and notice what’s happening in my body. Sometimes I wake up with full body aches, a sore, scratchy throat and a feeling of heaviness or weakness … Continue reading Chronic Illness In COVID Times
Giving Tree
What does summer mean to me this year? Not what it has ever meant before. Summering in quarantine and in a time of social unrest has been unsettling, uncomfortable, and filled with a sadness and anxiety unusual for this time of year. It’s hard to be present during the long, hot, blisteringly blue days. When … Continue reading Giving Tree
Letting the Light In 