Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash “They (the ill) may gain insights they may never had had in their normal life. They may access their inner knowing and contentment and speak words of wisdom. Then, when they get better, energy returns and so does the ego.”-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth So why did my health take a downturn? … Continue reading Less Than

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash After I finished the last post I took a break from writing. I was doing so much better with my health that I wanted to simply focus on living life again. And for several months I did just that. I hiked the beautiful hills near my home, hung out with my family, … Continue reading Back At It Again

*This post was written in June of 2018. (My next post will be an update on where I am now.) Yesterday was the last day of school. Not just for my kids. For me too. I spent the past 7 weeks working as a teacher’s aide in our local elementary school. How did this happen? … Continue reading A New Chapter

Image by Bessi from Pixabay “What we find as practitioners is that nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” —Pema Chodron, Things Fall Apart Every Thursday for the past few months I have visited a local Buddhist insight mediation center, Spirit Rock. One day I attended a course on the Dark … Continue reading Through The Dark Night

Last month I went away by myself for a few days. After the deluge of recent revelations my inner voice told me that I needed a little space. I have never done anything like this before, but I knew it would be good for me. I also knew that it would probably be a little lonely. … Continue reading Retreat

Image: Artist Unknown “In our fear we believe that we must make things happen; in our practice we learn to let things happen.”  —Rolf Gates Being broken open is kind of amazing. Since my bathroom floor moment in January, the revelations have continued to pour in. It’s like a faucet has been turned on and … Continue reading Uncaged

I have lost parts of myself, but my illness isn’t the cause. It just put that loss into stark relief. I now believe that my illness is, at least in part, an effect of years of setting unrealistic standards for myself, of being incredibly self-critical, of feeling like I had failed, of shame. No wonder … Continue reading How Did I Get Here?

Image: Artist Unknown A few weeks ago I had a bathroom floor moment. I first read about this moment on Glennon Doyle’s blog: http://momastery.com/blog/ . She was lying on her bathroom floor having just discovered she was pregnant and realized that she had hit rock bottom with her drinking and purging. It was a dark … Continue reading Awake

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash “The best way out is always through.”  --Robert Frost Each January for the past 4 years I have resolved that that year I would finally regain full health. In my head full health looks like: falling asleep easily each night and waking refreshed each morning, climbing mountains and taking dance classes, traveling … Continue reading New

Image by annca from Pixabay "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"  --Mary Oliver It is a stunning winter day here in Marin. The weather is mild, the sky a brilliant blue, and the birds are twittering away. I am sitting on my deck letting the warmth seep into … Continue reading Fleeting